Peter McGraw continues the Solo series on unconventional relationships by looking at singles who seek the companionship of a pet. In this first part, he speaks to Lisa Curry, a dog owner and stand-up comedian. They discuss a survey of singles and their pets for his new project: Single Insights: The Science of Solos. Part two will cover the results as part of a live taping of the podcast.
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Listen to Episode #105 here
A Remarkable Single and Her Pet
Welcome back. As you know, I like to host short series when I start to contemplate a new topic. This is part of a series that investigates unconventional relationships. The first episode was about people seeking arrangements, sugar babies, daddies and mommies. The second, looked at friends with benefits AKA sexual friendships. In this episode, we look at people who are seeking companionship in the form of a pet. We already began this investigation of pet ownership months ago by examining the crazy cat lady stereotype. You can find information about that in the Solo community. You can join at PeterMcGraw.org/Solo. It remains free for a period of time.
In this episode, I speak to a dog owner and standup comic. Comedians are great guests for this topic because pets are not practical given their lifestyle and comics often have compelling insights. My guest is Lisa Curry, an internationally touring comedian and TV writer. She has written for TruTV, NBC and Comedy Central, where she was a staff writer on The Jim Jefferies Show. Lisa headlines clubs and opens for Jefferies and theaters between staff writing jobs.
Her debut comedy album, Alive for a While, is in consideration for a Grammy nomination. I take her through a survey that I’m creating for my newly launched project, Single Insights: The Science of Solos. She answers those questions and if you’re curious about the results of the survey, you can know about it more in the bonus material that’s available in the private Solo community. I hope you enjoy the episode. Let’s get started.
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Welcome, Lisa.
How are you?
I’m good. Are you ready to talk about pets?
I always am.
Are you ready to talk about your pet?
Absolutely. That’s all I talk about.
That’s why you’re here. Before we get to your pet or pets in general, let’s talk about you. You’re a new Twitter friend. I’m forcing my friendship on you.
I do that with a lot of people, so I respect that.
We have met once before and you said you collect friends.
I do. I am overly sentimental and even if I lose touch with somebody, I’ll still look them up years later or even people I didn’t have that much of a connection with. If somebody pops into my head, I’ll look them up because I want to make sure they’re doing okay. It can be old classmates. Somebody from first grade will pop into my head and I’m like, “I hope they’re doing okay. Let me look them up.”
That’s so nice of you. I don’t do that. You are catching stride professionally.
It feels nice.
You have a campaign you’re working on. Shamelessly plug it.
My debut comedy album, which is called Alive for a While, is up for Grammy consideration. It was submitted. I voted for myself, which feels good and I’m excited. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, I’m like, “I’m on the ballot for the Grammys. I’m in The Recording Academy. I voted for myself.” It’s such a surreal thing. That feels special but everything in my career feels special.
You’re hitting stride. It’s wonderful to see from afar.
Thank you so much.
I had remarked on one of your Twitter and Instagram photos at The Recording Academy and I thought you were visiting the museum. I said, “It looks like you belong there.” The answer is you do belong there. That’s fabulous. I’ll tell you this as a professor. I regularly vote against myself because what happens is you often get nominated to be on committees and the faculty votes to see who they want representing them on the committee. I never want to be on the committee, so I vote against myself.
Along with collecting people, I like to collect memberships, so I want to be in everything. I don’t understand where this comes from. It is weird because I’m in the TV Academy, Recording Academy, Women in Animation and the WGA. I’m trying to get into everything. I’m dying to sit on the board of something and that’s not even a joke. A friend of mine who’s big in tech recommended me to this startup. I almost got a slot as somebody on the board of the startup and then they had somebody else. I was like, “No. I want to say I’m on the board.”
You collect people, memberships, a lot of badges and so on. What about your relationship status? Are you single?
Single-ish. I’m seeing someone but it’s in a weird gray area. I don’t love that but I do like the freedom I get with it.
I have developed a taxonomy of singles and have been trying it out on the show before I finalize it. I’m working on a book. I need to finalize it for the book, so I want to figure out what type of single person you are. There are four types, so be patient before you join one of them. I know you’re going to be desperate to join one of the groups. For the regular reader, these have come a long way because they used to be type 1, type 2, type 3 and type 4, which is the least exciting name. I’m a type two.
How long have you been working on this?
Months, not years, it’s very fun. I like to make figures, graphs and tables. I’m pretty sure you’re not the first. I call the first someday. These are people who someday want to be in a traditional long-term relationship or marriage typically. It’s what we would call the relationship escalator. They desire to ride the relationship escalator. You might call them hopeless romantics. The second type all the way through four, is what I would call Solo in Orientation.
They’re more independent in how they view relationships. They don’t see a relationship as completing them. Most notably, the next group is Just May. They are the ones that are like, “I may be in a long-term relationship. I may be in a traditional relationship escalator. It’d be nice if it happens but if it doesn’t so be it. My life is good. I’m happy with how I’m living.”
Number three are the No Ways. They’re like, “I’m not interested in a relationship for now or forever. I’m working on other things. I’m under Grammy consideration and spending all my time doing that,” or maybe you’re divorced and want to work on yourself or you’re what Bella DePaulo calls single at heart. You like your alone time and you’re not interested in something romantic or sexual with someone else. At the most extreme is the loner, the person who doesn’t even like relationships in general.
They even romanticizes it like, “I’m going to live this solo life and it’s going to be this poetic thing.”
A lot of comics have that lone wolf mentality. “I’m out on the road on my own.” They’re unencumbered. The last, and this is the group that I’m most excited about, is A New Way. These are people who are re-envisioning their relationships. Maybe they would prefer friends with benefits. That’s something that is not as escalator-like or they’re non-monogamous, polyamorous or involved in a relationship that might not be physically intimate but is still romantic. They’re the whole host of things when you start peeling away the rules and start breaking the rules of long-term relationships to make them work for you.
The most notable extreme of this group is the relationship anarchist, the people who between the two or more people in the relationship design and decide on the rules of the relationship. For example, maybe it’s not hierarchical. It’s not more important than other relationships and so on. Are you a Someday, Just May, No Way or A New Way?
I’ll say first with the New Way people, when you say polyamorous, I know so many people that think they can separate feelings from sex.
Not all A New Way people are polyamorous. It’s one of the options.
When somebody says that, I’m like, “Let’s see how that works out.” I want to say I’m number 2, leaning towards number 3 but growing up in the Midwest and being raised Catholic, I’m so conditioned to be number one that sometimes I feel a pull towards that and then I’m like, “Is that what I want or is that what I’m told that I should want?” I can’t separate it sometimes but there’s something about that part of the draw of number one that feels like it validates you in the same way that I seek validation in other things.
It’s like you’ve gotten the stamp of approval from this person or, for example, it can be from everyone at a wedding. Everyone’s celebrating this thing and it’s like you did the right thing, where there isn’t a parallel or social award in number 2 and number 3. With my family and everyone I grew up around, I can’t imagine them looking at my life as a solo person and being like, “Look at her go. That’s excellent.” I feel like they feel sorry for me in a way. Some of them don’t.
I’ve only spent time with you twice and I completely understand where you’re coming from. Maybe better than you do at this moment.
I hope you do because I feel like I’m trying to figure it out.
First of all, the fact that you, as a comedian, who spends their time pointing out what’s wrong with the world and living this counter normative life, it’s difficult to escape the Someday category, which most people are in the Someday category and never consider any other category. Some of that for you is fueled by what other people think and we kicked off this conversation by talking about how you pursue approval through all these external forces.
I’m so aware of it. It’s funny because I want to say, “Does it matter what other people think?” I care deeply what other people think but not always. If people online don’t like me, I don’t care. Even on some of my family, I’m like, “I don’t care if you like me because you’re a bad person.” Even if somebody hates me, I want them to hate me because they’re like, “She’s doing well. She’s in the clubs. She has the award.” That’s why I also like the official seal of approval in any situation because I’m like, “You can hate me but I’m still in the WGA or this thing officially but you can’t take that away from me. I’m still superior to you in this way.”
I do appreciate your awareness of all this and thank you for your honesty. It highlights how pervasive these norms are and how much the world pushes people, even people who are good at being unconventional in other ways towards this particular goal.
It’s hard to break that. Another piece of it for me is I’m 90% of category number two and then sometimes, I’m like, “What if I got a cottage in Wales and lived there alone with my dog for the rest of my life?” That sounds extremely satisfying to me.
You’re moving into the No Way category.
I’m also very social but I like to be social on my terms. I find it exhausting to be social non-stop. Not to drag them but my family life was so rough. One feels like I would have the opportunity to choose what my family is, choose my own family life and make a nice home for a nice family but then when I think about it or the logistics of the day-to-day of having kids and pursuing that traditional life, that sounds something I do not want. That sounds terrifying.
This idea that people say they fit into multiple categories at the same time is not a new thing for me as I’ve been exploring this, so I get it. We’re going to say you’re a Just May. This is a good segue though, because you said, “I want to move to a cabin in the woods with my dog,” which I’m sure people reading are going, “When the hell are we talking about pets? That’s the only reason why I’m here.” Do you have a dog?
I do. I love her so much. I have a 70-pound German Shepherd mix but mostly Shepherd. Her name is Luna. I adopted her in April 2020. It was right at the beginning of quarantine. She was eight weeks old when I got her. She’s so smart and wonderful. It’s so nice to have a dog. It’s the best thing because it’s endless love coming at you all the time.
One of the fascinating things is there has been a rise in single living in the United States and elsewhere. There has also been a rise in pet ownership, especially among single people at least in some dimensions. In some ways, the case for singles owning pets makes a lot of sense compared to families and in some ways, there are some challenges associated with it, yet it’s still growing. Singles haven’t closed the gap completely in terms of ownership compared to families but it’s decreasing, especially in the last couple of years.
I’ve been exploring this topic with comics because of the comedian’s perspective. They notice things that other people or myself don’t notice. What gave me this idea is I moved into my new box in the sky. It’s a great box in the sky. I was riding in the elevator with this guy who has a Shepherd style dog because the building I’m in is filled with animals.
Are there pets that have their condos here?
That’s a business idea. Save that for the end. I would consider owning a pet if the pet lived in another residence.
That’s fair. It is hard to keep a clean home when you have a pet. I feel like that’s your number one job and then your secondary job is taking care of yourself.
We were in the elevator together, riding down and the dog was sniffing the floor. He says to me, “This is the message board for the animals in this building.” I said to him, “Are you a comedian?” I realized that I know him. We had done a show once. I’m like, “Jim, how are you?” It took his observation of the message board for me to think, “Is he a comedian?”
When I walk my dog and she sniffs things, I’m always like, “Did somebody leave you a voicemail? Are you checking in messages?”
It’s so fascinating. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I had a dog when I was a kid. We had a family dog named Bandit.
What kind of dog was he?
It was part Shepherd and part something else. It was a mutt. He was a very sweet and poorly trained animal, which happens with a single mother and two kids and the kids are left in charge of the dog.
You’re barely training the kids. Let alone the dog.
I’m not saying it was the strongest choice to have a dog but it was a sweet animal. I was quite fond of the name also. I’ve launched this project called Single Insights. Instead of talking to singles, I’m talking to organizations. These are people who hire singles and provide products and services for singles.
That’s a thing?
No. The issue is these people are completely overlooking the fact that half of the adult population in the US is single so they keep catering to families. Single Insights: The Science of Solos is designed to point out the fact that these people have different needs, wants and desires. I have a post about singles and their pets and how might singles’ relationships with their pets be different than a family’s relationships with their pets. To make that post-science-y, I’m running a survey so I’m going to be asking single and non-single pet owners about their pets. You and I share a love of advice.
I love to give and get advice. People have a misconception about taking advice and some people get defensive. You can hear all the advice and only apply some of it. You don’t have to apply all of it.
Hearing is the most important part of it. I’m ready to hear a lot of advice because I’m going to give you this survey. First of all, I’m going to allow you three passes. These aren’t that hard-hitting questions. I’ll be disappointed if you pass but you’re allowed to. I’m going to ask you all the questions even though some of them are, in some ways, have already been answered. What kind of pet or pets do you keep?
I have one German Shepherd. I am rigorously training her because I love to teach also. I like to watch a person or a pet learn. It’s satisfying.
I’m going to follow up too and I want a commentary on these. Something is satisfying about teaching an animal how to do something and it learns. It both makes the animal’s life better and your life better but is there something else there where it’s like, “I get to shape this creature in exactly the way that I want?”
I specifically got a puppy. I rescued her, if you will.
This term rescue is so dramatic.
I joke in my standup that any dog that any of us have adopted would be so much happier living on the street and eating garbage. They don’t want to eat Kibble, be inside all day or want this life and yet we’re like, “Look at the better life I’ve provided you.” They don’t care.
I’m going to push back because we have bred some dogs that, if they were out on the main streets, wouldn’t last very long. I have a comic friend who has a bit about how the apocalypse happens. You’ll be begging homeless people for tips on how to survive. These people are more robust than they’re given credit for, but your dog sounds like the dog who would thrive on the streets.
She would have such a great time, although she does love me. She hasn’t said it but I feel it.
Why do you have a pet? Check all that apply. Companionship, protection, gets me out of the house, for example, exercise, receive attention from others, make friends, for the love, to breed or show, gives me purpose and finally something else.
It’s companionship and a little bit of protection. Although realistically, if somebody was breaking into the house, my priority would be to keep her safe rather than myself or any of my belongings. The thought of somebody coming in and her being the first line of defense and getting hurt, I can’t even imagine that. I’m so protective of my dog.
Can you say protection?
To a degree, I do like to go for long walks at night and I feel so much safer with her because she looks intimidating. Realistically, if somebody came out to us, she might bark viciously for a minute, sniff them and start wagging her tail. I would also say for the love. It’s not for the attention. Although it is nice if I’m driving with her in the car and people are smiling at her. That feels good but it feels good in a way that I feel like I’m part of releasing the tension of being stuck in traffic, which feels nice.
I don’t remember a couple of the other things but when I got her, it was in the pandemic. I had been unemployed for six months at that time. I get up at 8:00 AM, which for a comic may as well be the crack of dawn. I had some structure in my life but having her and having to walk her three times a day, feed her, bathe her, take her to the vet and all that stuff has added so much structure to my life in such a good way. I feel like I’ve gotten more things done. I’ve been more on top of tasks. I’ve gotten more organized and all of that links back to having a dog.
It gives you purpose and structure.
Purpose feels like too heavy of a word because I already had a lot of drive and I felt connected to my career, friendships and other things but it keeps me from having an excuse to sleep until noon.
I’m adding structure to the survey. Which best describes your relationship with your pet? My life partner, my best friend, a friend, my child, a teammate, my employee, my protector, something else.
Given that I am a woman who is keenly aware of the dwindling time I have to have children, I would say this is my child.
Am I missing some other role or relationship?
Nothing that I can think of. I would feel a little bit like she’s my best friend because she’s playful. We do activities like hiking and other things that I do with friends.
There’s a different way to structure this question, which is to check all that apply. I might end up doing something where I’m going to say, “What are the relationships that you have and then what’s the most important or the dominant one?” How many hours a week do you spend caring for your pet? I have this at 0 to 1 hour, 1 to 5, 5 to 10, 10 to 15, 15 to 20 and 20 plus. It’s a weird scale.
It depends on the week. I would say 15 to 20 or 20 plus, depending if I’m on the road.
Should I make this scale bigger? Would some people say 40 hours a week? That’s a lot of care.
Here’s where I’m having a hard time deciding. What do you define as care? Do you mean active care?
A walk would be caring for your dog.
My answer would be 20 plus because I take her on 3 walks a day, and then I’ll take her to the park a few times a week. I also take her to group obedience classes. She has her first agility class when I get back. There are a lot of things I’m trying to make her well-rounded.
You’re teaching a dog how to be agile. Don’t they come that way?
The agility classes are the ones where they’re jumping over things and going through little tunnels. It’s for fun. There’s this place in the Valley in LA called Zoom Room. We do group obedience classes where I learn how to teach her things. They also offer agility classes and scent training, which I’m going to get her into for no reason other than how cool if my dog could sniff out things. If she could find Psilocybin, I might sell her. Imagine what I can make.
Let’s keep moving. How much money do you spend on your pet in a year?
I don’t want to think about that figure. It depends.
Can I give the scale? It’s at $1 to $500, $500 to $1,000, $1,000 to $2,000, $2,000 to $4,000, $4,000 to $8,000 or more than $8,000.
Maybe $1,000 to $2,000.
How much does the scent training cost?
They do packages, so it’s $300 for 30 classes, which isn’t terrible. I do get her high-end food, toys, treats and other things.
Does your pet sleep in your bed?
She does.
Do you take better care of your pet than yourself?
It depends on the day. I always take care of my pet and there are days when I’m not in the mood for self-care but I take pretty good care of myself overall. Her care is consistent and mine is not.
You take better care of your pet than yourself.
I hate to admit that. Did you notice how I was trying to reword that in a way where I was like, “You don’t know what I’m saying?”
For all of these, tell us more so people can elaborate. Does your pet look like you? Yes, a lot or yes, a little or no.
She’s starting to. We’re starting to fuse as one. She’s a German Shepherd. She looks like Scooby-Doo. She has black on her face but the rest of her body is a light brown and I’m blonde. We’re very similar in how active we are and she’s also pretty funny.
What is the most ridiculous, strange or embarrassing thing you have done for your pet?
I don’t know. Everything is embarrassing to a degree.
I feel very comfortable this is a unique show experience.
One thing I think people may think as silly is I used to wipe her paws every time we came into the house. I no longer do it because her paws are sensitive and it was irritating them a little bit. Maybe my non-stop cuddling, trying to pick her up and talking to her in a baby voice. The baby voice is embarrassing.
Do you do that in front of other people?
Sometimes I talk to people in a baby voice on accident because I’m so used to it. I was on the road with my friend Rachel and we were staying together. In the morning, when I woke up, I looked over at Rachel and go, “Good morning.” I was like, “What did I do?” It’s little things like that where I’m an adult talking in a baby voice in public. This is pretty ridiculous.
Do you bring your pet to restaurants or cafes?
I don’t. I would like to but my priority is being considerate of others. She’s a teenager so she’s rebelling against me at times and not always listening. I despise people that bring dogs into restaurants that are not well-behaved. I refuse to be one of those people. I took her to my local weed store and she did well there. I take her to Petco regularly.
That’s my follow-up question. Do you bring her pet shopping?
Here and there where it’s very acceptable. I don’t try to push the rules if somebody doesn’t want a dog in space. I’ve worked retail and in restaurants. In places I’ve worked with, pets aren’t allowed. When people would insist on bringing their pet, it drove me out of my mind.
I do find the acceptance of dogs. Two elements are interesting about bringing dogs into restaurants and other public, indoor or private spaces. One is it’s only acceptable to bring dogs and no other pets are acceptable. I noticed that. The other one is there are a lot of human beings or other paying customers who are allergic, scared and have had bad experiences with them. This is somewhat regional. There are certain places where dogs are especially welcome in towns like Los Angeles and so on. I’ve noticed that more so than in other places, so it’s interesting, especially when people insist on it.
I don’t ever want to be one of those people that insist on it. Sometimes it’s hard because I’ll take her to the park and I want to stop somewhere for lunch. I got her during quarantine and everything was shut down, so I’m not aware of all the dog-friendly places.
It’s the same way that a restaurant might be kid-friendly or not. It should be dog-friendly or not.
It’s a little harder to run errands that way because I’m like, “I have to take her to the park because she’s a puppy and she needs to get her energy out,” but I don’t have time to take her to the park, drive back home and then go back running errands.
You’re already putting twenty-plus hours of care into this animal.
I’m like, “If I can’t buy groceries, I can’t buy groceries. I’ll eat protein bars all the time.” You said something about dogs being allowed and that’s because you can train a dog. You can’t train a cat. Something is disgusting about cats to me. I like them but I wouldn’t want one in my home. It’s the kitty litter thing. I can’t see a cat without thinking of a box of crap in your home and that is so vile. I can’t believe people do that. It blows my mind.
There are other ways to have a cat and not have kitty litter though.
I have a cousin that has a couple of cats but they’re mostly outdoor cats. She cut out a little section on one of the windows, so the cats come and go. Her house is immaculate and smells clean. There isn’t a box of crap in the corner at all times.
I don’t have a preference. I’m largely dispassionate about these topics. I’m an observer. I’m trying to understand it all. Let’s step back for a second, if I may. In some ways, it’s crazy that people have an animal living in their house. It’s peculiar that people own another human being.
In the case of dogs, this rescue I got her from was like, “We found these puppies in Tijuana.” When you think about it, it is very weird that you go out into nature, snatch an animal and you’re like, “I’m making its life better.”
The history of dogs is interesting. Humans’ relationships with dogs are truly unique. They are fundamentally human’s best friends. They have evolved from wolves. This is a long-time relationship. This was thousands of years old that have developed and changed. As humans tend to do, especially people who have lots of resources, they take these things to bizarre, crazy places. What once was a wolf that helped you in a utilitarian way sits in your pocketbook as an accessory.
That makes me cringe when somebody has a dog as an accessory. It is fascinating to me also to think of the history of dogs because I found out my dog is part Chow Chow. They were bred to be very loyal to one person specifically and I feel like she’s very attached to me in that way or maybe she is because that’s her personality.
Who is the boss in your household, you or your pet?
Me. I make sure of that and it’s not in a mean way. It’s all positive reinforcement.
If you’re dating, does your pet help or hurt your dating life? Help, hurts, helps and hurts or no effect.
I would add another category. My dog is my priority. I don’t look to her to help my dating life but I wouldn’t say she could hurt it because she wins in her versus any guy situation.
Would you say your dog does not affect your dating?
Yes, but it’s because of my insistence that it is not affected.
If you had to choose between your partner or your pet, who would it be?
Pet. There’s no contest. If I started dating someone and they were like, “Dogs aren’t my thing,” it’d be like, “You’re not my thing then. Toodaloo.” I love my dog and she’s not going anywhere, so it’s her over someone else.
What products or services do you wish were offered to help you with your pet ownership?
There’s a lot I didn’t know going into having a dog because I had dogs when I was a kid. We always had Labs and they always ran free on our property. To say we took care of them would be generous. There are a lot of things I didn’t know. For example, German Shepherds are largely allergic to poultry and beef. I was feeding her both of those things because I was switching out her food so she wouldn’t get bored of it. I noticed she was missing little patches of her hair.
I talked to a friend about it and they were like, “You got to switch her to all fish-based food.” I didn’t know that. There are also a couple of other medical things that I didn’t know. Vets largely take it for granted and think, “You have a dog. You have all the information.” I’ve had to tell them multiple times like, “I don’t know anything about raising a dog, so any information you have that is helpful.”
It’s like an owner’s manual. It’s amazing how many things you have to study and get certified to do in having a baby and owning an animal.
Both should come with at the very least a pamphlet.
Also, maybe some online tests, so if you don’t pass it, you can’t have it.
We get into tricky territory because everybody should be taking online tests to see if they should be in public, if they should sit in an emergency row and all kinds of things. You can strive to be on that list but you don’t automatically get put on it.
Once you’re sitting in the exit row, it’s too late.
I trust almost no one. When the attendant comes around like, “In the event of an emergency, do you promise to help out?” I look over and it’s an 80-pound person who looks like they can’t fend for themselves in any way, I’m like, “Do you think they’re going to open this trap door? I will.” The likelihood of surviving and then needing the doors is slim.
Are there any other products or services that come to mind?
I wish there was a way for brands to be more transparent about whether they were healthy or good for your dog or not. I didn’t know, for example, that rawhide is bad. It’s not meat, so their body doesn’t break it down. If you give your dog rawhide treats regularly, it can stop up in their stomach and they may need surgery to get it.
Rawhide treats are the swallowing gum of pet life.
I agree but worse. Your pet may end up needing surgery to get it removed because it takes them so long to digest them and break them down that they can compact in their stomach.
Is there anything else you want to tell us about your experience with your pet, its importance in your life and your approach to caring for them?
It’s lovely having a pet. It’s nice and fulfilling. They give you non-stop love. You can make time for a dog. This is a little bit of a digression but there are a lot of people that got pets over quarantine only to return them later. It makes me furious. I want them all to walk into traffic. That’s horrifying. I wish people also were gentler with their pets because they can’t speak English and are helpless. Once they’re domesticated in your home, they’re completely helpless and dependent on you. Be nice to them and love them back.
Am I missing any types of questions or topics?
I don’t know. I would like to know how to travel with my pet. I’ve driven across the country with her a couple of times and she’s lovely in the car but I have gotten no tips on how to fly with my dog. I’ve asked people, “What’s the best airline to fly with your dog on?” The answer I get is, “Never put your dog in with the cargo.” I’m like, “What? I would never have.”
I heard that the FAA no longer allows dogs on planes unless they can fit under the front seat. We need to double-check that. It’s as of April 2021, I think.
Why is that?
If you take a non-dog owners’ perspective, it makes a lot of sense. People are afraid and allergic to pets. The planes are packed. The counter-argument that a pet owner might have is, “If I’m willing to buy my pet a seat, why can’t I bring my pet?”
I did go through the trouble of getting her a service animal vest and I am vest training her, which is a very slow process. I’m at the very beginning of it. Vest training means she knows like, “When I have this vest on, I’m working.”
I want to point out another topic that I’m doing for Single Insights that’s relevant here. It’s about solos, holidays and how disproportionately single people have to do the travel. It falls on your shoulders as the single person to make the trip, fight the traffic, fight the airports and pay top dollar for flights. That seems a little unfair to me at times.
There are a lot of things that are put on single people. I choose which of them I participate in and don’t but I try to be considerate of other people who may not want my dog in their space. That same principle is not applied to people with children. It’s understood that their child will be everywhere misbehaving all the time, which is frustrating. Holidays, any celebrations or weddings, they all can be annoying.
We’re here to change the way people think about these things. I’m starting to get more focus on communicating with the allies, non-single family and friends. How might you think differently about your single-family and friends in terms of the assumptions you make about their life, the questions you ask them, what you ask them to do, what you ask them to not do or what you don’t ask them to do, where you meet them from and so on. I have a solo show on Fireside that I do in which I brought together a panel to talk through some of that stuff. This is for the people that are reading.
I’ll add to the holidays’ thing where I find that single people are also tasked with errands. They’re like, “My husband and I are here spending time together so you take this person to the airport and babysit the kids” By choosing to be single, I didn’t opt into a life of being your assistant. I’m already in the most uncomfortable place. I’m living in a communal area where I’m being interrupted by your life constantly. People think of being single the same as being a child.
It’s lower status. It’s like, “This relationship is more important, so why would I not spend time with my partner to run this errand? Let’s give the job to someone who doesn’t have anything better to do.”
I’m like, “The whole reason I’m single is that I have more things better to do.” That’s the whole idea.
You’re not fully a type two. You’re not fully a Just May. I want to bring this full circle.
Am I more of a three?
I’m not sure. It’s easier for you to be a No Way with your pet than not.
I want some companionship. This isn’t a huge indictment on some of the men I’ve dated but I am as entertained talking to my dog and hanging out with her as I am with a man sometimes.
Ladies and gentlemen, Lisa Curry.
Thank you so much for having me on.
This was very fun.
Welcome back. As you know, I like to host short series when I start to contemplate a new topic. This is part of a series that investigates unconventional relationships. The first episode was about people seeking arrangements, sugar babies, daddies and mommies. The second, looked at friends with benefits AKA sexual friendships. In this episode, we look at people who are seeking companionship in the form of a pet. We already began this investigation of pet ownership months ago by examining the crazy cat lady stereotype. You can find information about that in the Solo community. You can join at PeterMcGraw.org/Solo. It remains free for a period of time.
In this episode, I speak to a dog owner and standup comic. Comedians are great guests for this topic because pets are not practical given their lifestyle and comics often have compelling insights. My guest is Lisa Curry, an internationally touring comedian and TV writer. She has written for TruTV, NBC and Comedy Central, where she was a staff writer on The Jim Jefferies Show. Lisa headlines clubs and opens for Jefferies and theaters between staff writing jobs.
Her debut comedy album, Alive for a While, is in consideration for a Grammy nomination. I take her through a survey that I’m creating for my newly launched project, Single Insights: The Science of Solos. She answers those questions and if you’re curious about the results of the survey, you can know about it more in the bonus material that’s available in the private Solo community. I hope you enjoy the episode. Let’s get started.
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Welcome, Lisa.
How are you?
I’m good. Are you ready to talk about pets?
I always am.
Are you ready to talk about your pet?
Absolutely. That’s all I talk about.
That’s why you’re here. Before we get to your pet or pets in general, let’s talk about you. You’re a new Twitter friend. I’m forcing my friendship on you.
I do that with a lot of people, so I respect that.
We have met once before and you said you collect friends.
I do. I am overly sentimental and even if I lose touch with somebody, I’ll still look them up years later or even people I didn’t have that much of a connection with. If somebody pops into my head, I’ll look them up because I want to make sure they’re doing okay. It can be old classmates. Somebody from first grade will pop into my head and I’m like, “I hope they’re doing okay. Let me look them up.”
That’s so nice of you. I don’t do that. You are catching stride professionally.
It feels nice.
You have a campaign you’re working on. Shamelessly plug it.
My debut comedy album, which is called Alive for a While, is up for Grammy consideration. It was submitted. I voted for myself, which feels good and I’m excited. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, I’m like, “I’m on the ballot for the Grammys. I’m in The Recording Academy. I voted for myself.” It’s such a surreal thing. That feels special but everything in my career feels special.
You’re hitting stride. It’s wonderful to see from afar.
Thank you so much.
I had remarked on one of your Twitter and Instagram photos at The Recording Academy and I thought you were visiting the museum. I said, “It looks like you belong there.” The answer is you do belong there. That’s fabulous. I’ll tell you this as a professor. I regularly vote against myself because what happens is you often get nominated to be on committees and the faculty votes to see who they want representing them on the committee. I never want to be on the committee, so I vote against myself.
Along with collecting people, I like to collect memberships, so I want to be in everything. I don’t understand where this comes from. It is weird because I’m in the TV Academy, Recording Academy, Women in Animation and the WGA. I’m trying to get into everything. I’m dying to sit on the board of something and that’s not even a joke. A friend of mine who’s big in tech recommended me to this startup. I almost got a slot as somebody on the board of the startup and then they had somebody else. I was like, “No. I want to say I’m on the board.”
You collect people, memberships, a lot of badges and so on. What about your relationship status? Are you single?
Single-ish. I’m seeing someone but it’s in a weird gray area. I don’t love that but I do like the freedom I get with it.
I have developed a taxonomy of singles and have been trying it out on the show before I finalize it. I’m working on a book. I need to finalize it for the book, so I want to figure out what type of single person you are. There are four types, so be patient before you join one of them. I know you’re going to be desperate to join one of the groups. For the regular reader, these have come a long way because they used to be type 1, type 2, type 3 and type 4, which is the least exciting name. I’m a type two.
How long have you been working on this?
Months, not years, it’s very fun. I like to make figures, graphs and tables. I’m pretty sure you’re not the first. I call the first someday. These are people who someday want to be in a traditional long-term relationship or marriage typically. It’s what we would call the relationship escalator. They desire to ride the relationship escalator. You might call them hopeless romantics. The second type all the way through four, is what I would call Solo in Orientation.
They’re more independent in how they view relationships. They don’t see a relationship as completing them. Most notably, the next group is Just May. They are the ones that are like, “I may be in a long-term relationship. I may be in a traditional relationship escalator. It’d be nice if it happens but if it doesn’t so be it. My life is good. I’m happy with how I’m living.”
Number three are the No Ways. They’re like, “I’m not interested in a relationship for now or forever. I’m working on other things. I’m under Grammy consideration and spending all my time doing that,” or maybe you’re divorced and want to work on yourself or you’re what Bella DePaulo calls single at heart. You like your alone time and you’re not interested in something romantic or sexual with someone else. At the most extreme is the loner, the person who doesn’t even like relationships in general.
They even romanticizes it like, “I’m going to live this solo life and it’s going to be this poetic thing.”
A lot of comics have that lone wolf mentality. “I’m out on the road on my own.” They’re unencumbered. The last, and this is the group that I’m most excited about, is A New Way. These are people who are re-envisioning their relationships. Maybe they would prefer friends with benefits. That’s something that is not as escalator-like or they’re non-monogamous, polyamorous or involved in a relationship that might not be physically intimate but is still romantic. They’re the whole host of things when you start peeling away the rules and start breaking the rules of long-term relationships to make them work for you.
The most notable extreme of this group is the relationship anarchist, the people who between the two or more people in the relationship design and decide on the rules of the relationship. For example, maybe it’s not hierarchical. It’s not more important than other relationships and so on. Are you a Someday, Just May, No Way or A New Way?
I’ll say first with the New Way people, when you say polyamorous, I know so many people that think they can separate feelings from sex.
Not all A New Way people are polyamorous. It’s one of the options.
When somebody says that, I’m like, “Let’s see how that works out.” I want to say I’m number 2, leaning towards number 3 but growing up in the Midwest and being raised Catholic, I’m so conditioned to be number one that sometimes I feel a pull towards that and then I’m like, “Is that what I want or is that what I’m told that I should want?” I can’t separate it sometimes but there’s something about that part of the draw of number one that feels like it validates you in the same way that I seek validation in other things.
It’s like you’ve gotten the stamp of approval from this person or, for example, it can be from everyone at a wedding. Everyone’s celebrating this thing and it’s like you did the right thing, where there isn’t a parallel or social award in number 2 and number 3. With my family and everyone I grew up around, I can’t imagine them looking at my life as a solo person and being like, “Look at her go. That’s excellent.” I feel like they feel sorry for me in a way. Some of them don’t.
I’ve only spent time with you twice and I completely understand where you’re coming from. Maybe better than you do at this moment.
I hope you do because I feel like I’m trying to figure it out.
First of all, the fact that you, as a comedian, who spends their time pointing out what’s wrong with the world and living this counter normative life, it’s difficult to escape the Someday category, which most people are in the Someday category and never consider any other category. Some of that for you is fueled by what other people think and we kicked off this conversation by talking about how you pursue approval through all these external forces.
I’m so aware of it. It’s funny because I want to say, “Does it matter what other people think?” I care deeply what other people think but not always. If people online don’t like me, I don’t care. Even on some of my family, I’m like, “I don’t care if you like me because you’re a bad person.” Even if somebody hates me, I want them to hate me because they’re like, “She’s doing well. She’s in the clubs. She has the award.” That’s why I also like the official seal of approval in any situation because I’m like, “You can hate me but I’m still in the WGA or this thing officially but you can’t take that away from me. I’m still superior to you in this way.”
I do appreciate your awareness of all this and thank you for your honesty. It highlights how pervasive these norms are and how much the world pushes people, even people who are good at being unconventional in other ways towards this particular goal.
It’s hard to break that. Another piece of it for me is I’m 90% of category number two and then sometimes, I’m like, “What if I got a cottage in Wales and lived there alone with my dog for the rest of my life?” That sounds extremely satisfying to me.
You’re moving into the No Way category.
I’m also very social but I like to be social on my terms. I find it exhausting to be social non-stop. Not to drag them but my family life was so rough. One feels like I would have the opportunity to choose what my family is, choose my own family life and make a nice home for a nice family but then when I think about it or the logistics of the day-to-day of having kids and pursuing that traditional life, that sounds something I do not want. That sounds terrifying.
This idea that people say they fit into multiple categories at the same time is not a new thing for me as I’ve been exploring this, so I get it. We’re going to say you’re a Just May. This is a good segue though, because you said, “I want to move to a cabin in the woods with my dog,” which I’m sure people reading are going, “When the hell are we talking about pets? That’s the only reason why I’m here.” Do you have a dog?
I do. I love her so much. I have a 70-pound German Shepherd mix but mostly Shepherd. Her name is Luna. I adopted her in April 2020. It was right at the beginning of quarantine. She was eight weeks old when I got her. She’s so smart and wonderful. It’s so nice to have a dog. It’s the best thing because it’s endless love coming at you all the time.
One of the fascinating things is there has been a rise in single living in the United States and elsewhere. There has also been a rise in pet ownership, especially among single people at least in some dimensions. In some ways, the case for singles owning pets makes a lot of sense compared to families and in some ways, there are some challenges associated with it, yet it’s still growing. Singles haven’t closed the gap completely in terms of ownership compared to families but it’s decreasing, especially in the last couple of years.
I’ve been exploring this topic with comics because of the comedian’s perspective. They notice things that other people or myself don’t notice. What gave me this idea is I moved into my new box in the sky. It’s a great box in the sky. I was riding in the elevator with this guy who has a Shepherd style dog because the building I’m in is filled with animals.
Are there pets that have their condos here?
That’s a business idea. Save that for the end. I would consider owning a pet if the pet lived in another residence.
That’s fair. It is hard to keep a clean home when you have a pet. I feel like that’s your number one job and then your secondary job is taking care of yourself.
We were in the elevator together, riding down and the dog was sniffing the floor. He says to me, “This is the message board for the animals in this building.” I said to him, “Are you a comedian?” I realized that I know him. We had done a show once. I’m like, “Jim, how are you?” It took his observation of the message board for me to think, “Is he a comedian?”
When I walk my dog and she sniffs things, I’m always like, “Did somebody leave you a voicemail? Are you checking in messages?”
It’s so fascinating. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I had a dog when I was a kid. We had a family dog named Bandit.
What kind of dog was he?
It was part Shepherd and part something else. It was a mutt. He was a very sweet and poorly trained animal, which happens with a single mother and two kids and the kids are left in charge of the dog.
You’re barely training the kids. Let alone the dog.
I’m not saying it was the strongest choice to have a dog but it was a sweet animal. I was quite fond of the name also. I’ve launched this project called Single Insights. Instead of talking to singles, I’m talking to organizations. These are people who hire singles and provide products and services for singles.
That’s a thing?
No. The issue is these people are completely overlooking the fact that half of the adult population in the US is single so they keep catering to families. Single Insights: The Science of Solos is designed to point out the fact that these people have different needs, wants and desires. I have a post about singles and their pets and how might singles’ relationships with their pets be different than a family’s relationships with their pets. To make that post-science-y, I’m running a survey so I’m going to be asking single and non-single pet owners about their pets. You and I share a love of advice.
I love to give and get advice. People have a misconception about taking advice and some people get defensive. You can hear all the advice and only apply some of it. You don’t have to apply all of it.
Hearing is the most important part of it. I’m ready to hear a lot of advice because I’m going to give you this survey. First of all, I’m going to allow you three passes. These aren’t that hard-hitting questions. I’ll be disappointed if you pass but you’re allowed to. I’m going to ask you all the questions even though some of them are, in some ways, have already been answered. What kind of pet or pets do you keep?
I have one German Shepherd. I am rigorously training her because I love to teach also. I like to watch a person or a pet learn. It’s satisfying.
I’m going to follow up too and I want a commentary on these. Something is satisfying about teaching an animal how to do something and it learns. It both makes the animal’s life better and your life better but is there something else there where it’s like, “I get to shape this creature in exactly the way that I want?”
I specifically got a puppy. I rescued her, if you will.
This term rescue is so dramatic.
I joke in my standup that any dog that any of us have adopted would be so much happier living on the street and eating garbage. They don’t want to eat Kibble, be inside all day or want this life and yet we’re like, “Look at the better life I’ve provided you.” They don’t care.
I’m going to push back because we have bred some dogs that, if they were out on the main streets, wouldn’t last very long. I have a comic friend who has a bit about how the apocalypse happens. You’ll be begging homeless people for tips on how to survive. These people are more robust than they’re given credit for, but your dog sounds like the dog who would thrive on the streets.
She would have such a great time, although she does love me. She hasn’t said it but I feel it.
Why do you have a pet? Check all that apply. Companionship, protection, gets me out of the house, for example, exercise, receive attention from others, make friends, for the love, to breed or show, gives me purpose and finally something else.
It’s companionship and a little bit of protection. Although realistically, if somebody was breaking into the house, my priority would be to keep her safe rather than myself or any of my belongings. The thought of somebody coming in and her being the first line of defense and getting hurt, I can’t even imagine that. I’m so protective of my dog.
Can you say protection?
To a degree, I do like to go for long walks at night and I feel so much safer with her because she looks intimidating. Realistically, if somebody came out to us, she might bark viciously for a minute, sniff them and start wagging her tail. I would also say for the love. It’s not for the attention. Although it is nice if I’m driving with her in the car and people are smiling at her. That feels good but it feels good in a way that I feel like I’m part of releasing the tension of being stuck in traffic, which feels nice.
I don’t remember a couple of the other things but when I got her, it was in the pandemic. I had been unemployed for six months at that time. I get up at 8:00 AM, which for a comic may as well be the crack of dawn. I had some structure in my life but having her and having to walk her three times a day, feed her, bathe her, take her to the vet and all that stuff has added so much structure to my life in such a good way. I feel like I’ve gotten more things done. I’ve been more on top of tasks. I’ve gotten more organized and all of that links back to having a dog.
It gives you purpose and structure.
Purpose feels like too heavy of a word because I already had a lot of drive and I felt connected to my career, friendships and other things but it keeps me from having an excuse to sleep until noon.
I’m adding structure to the survey. Which best describes your relationship with your pet? My life partner, my best friend, a friend, my child, a teammate, my employee, my protector, something else.
Given that I am a woman who is keenly aware of the dwindling time I have to have children, I would say this is my child.
Am I missing some other role or relationship?
Nothing that I can think of. I would feel a little bit like she’s my best friend because she’s playful. We do activities like hiking and other things that I do with friends.
There’s a different way to structure this question, which is to check all that apply. I might end up doing something where I’m going to say, “What are the relationships that you have and then what’s the most important or the dominant one?” How many hours a week do you spend caring for your pet? I have this at 0 to 1 hour, 1 to 5, 5 to 10, 10 to 15, 15 to 20 and 20 plus. It’s a weird scale.
It depends on the week. I would say 15 to 20 or 20 plus, depending if I’m on the road.
Should I make this scale bigger? Would some people say 40 hours a week? That’s a lot of care.
Here’s where I’m having a hard time deciding. What do you define as care? Do you mean active care?
A walk would be caring for your dog.
My answer would be 20 plus because I take her on 3 walks a day, and then I’ll take her to the park a few times a week. I also take her to group obedience classes. She has her first agility class when I get back. There are a lot of things I’m trying to make her well-rounded.
You’re teaching a dog how to be agile. Don’t they come that way?
The agility classes are the ones where they’re jumping over things and going through little tunnels. It’s for fun. There’s this place in the Valley in LA called Zoom Room. We do group obedience classes where I learn how to teach her things. They also offer agility classes and scent training, which I’m going to get her into for no reason other than how cool if my dog could sniff out things. If she could find Psilocybin, I might sell her. Imagine what I can make.
Let’s keep moving. How much money do you spend on your pet in a year?
I don’t want to think about that figure. It depends.
Can I give the scale? It’s at $1 to $500, $500 to $1,000, $1,000 to $2,000, $2,000 to $4,000, $4,000 to $8,000 or more than $8,000.
Maybe $1,000 to $2,000.
How much does the scent training cost?
They do packages, so it’s $300 for 30 classes, which isn’t terrible. I do get her high-end food, toys, treats and other things.
Does your pet sleep in your bed?
She does.
Do you take better care of your pet than yourself?
It depends on the day. I always take care of my pet and there are days when I’m not in the mood for self-care but I take pretty good care of myself overall. Her care is consistent and mine is not.
You take better care of your pet than yourself.
I hate to admit that. Did you notice how I was trying to reword that in a way where I was like, “You don’t know what I’m saying?”
For all of these, tell us more so people can elaborate. Does your pet look like you? Yes, a lot or yes, a little or no.
She’s starting to. We’re starting to fuse as one. She’s a German Shepherd. She looks like Scooby-Doo. She has black on her face but the rest of her body is a light brown and I’m blonde. We’re very similar in how active we are and she’s also pretty funny.
What is the most ridiculous, strange or embarrassing thing you have done for your pet?
I don’t know. Everything is embarrassing to a degree.
I feel very comfortable this is a unique show experience.
One thing I think people may think as silly is I used to wipe her paws every time we came into the house. I no longer do it because her paws are sensitive and it was irritating them a little bit. Maybe my non-stop cuddling, trying to pick her up and talking to her in a baby voice. The baby voice is embarrassing.
Do you do that in front of other people?
Sometimes I talk to people in a baby voice on accident because I’m so used to it. I was on the road with my friend Rachel and we were staying together. In the morning, when I woke up, I looked over at Rachel and go, “Good morning.” I was like, “What did I do?” It’s little things like that where I’m an adult talking in a baby voice in public. This is pretty ridiculous.
Do you bring your pet to restaurants or cafes?
I don’t. I would like to but my priority is being considerate of others. She’s a teenager so she’s rebelling against me at times and not always listening. I despise people that bring dogs into restaurants that are not well-behaved. I refuse to be one of those people. I took her to my local weed store and she did well there. I take her to Petco regularly.
That’s my follow-up question. Do you bring her pet shopping?
Here and there where it’s very acceptable. I don’t try to push the rules if somebody doesn’t want a dog in space. I’ve worked retail and in restaurants. In places I’ve worked with, pets aren’t allowed. When people would insist on bringing their pet, it drove me out of my mind.
I do find the acceptance of dogs. Two elements are interesting about bringing dogs into restaurants and other public, indoor or private spaces. One is it’s only acceptable to bring dogs and no other pets are acceptable. I noticed that. The other one is there are a lot of human beings or other paying customers who are allergic, scared and have had bad experiences with them. This is somewhat regional. There are certain places where dogs are especially welcome in towns like Los Angeles and so on. I’ve noticed that more so than in other places, so it’s interesting, especially when people insist on it.
I don’t ever want to be one of those people that insist on it. Sometimes it’s hard because I’ll take her to the park and I want to stop somewhere for lunch. I got her during quarantine and everything was shut down, so I’m not aware of all the dog-friendly places.
It’s the same way that a restaurant might be kid-friendly or not. It should be dog-friendly or not.
It’s a little harder to run errands that way because I’m like, “I have to take her to the park because she’s a puppy and she needs to get her energy out,” but I don’t have time to take her to the park, drive back home and then go back running errands.
You’re already putting twenty-plus hours of care into this animal.
I’m like, “If I can’t buy groceries, I can’t buy groceries. I’ll eat protein bars all the time.” You said something about dogs being allowed and that’s because you can train a dog. You can’t train a cat. Something is disgusting about cats to me. I like them but I wouldn’t want one in my home. It’s the kitty litter thing. I can’t see a cat without thinking of a box of crap in your home and that is so vile. I can’t believe people do that. It blows my mind.
There are other ways to have a cat and not have kitty litter though.
I have a cousin that has a couple of cats but they’re mostly outdoor cats. She cut out a little section on one of the windows, so the cats come and go. Her house is immaculate and smells clean. There isn’t a box of crap in the corner at all times.
I don’t have a preference. I’m largely dispassionate about these topics. I’m an observer. I’m trying to understand it all. Let’s step back for a second, if I may. In some ways, it’s crazy that people have an animal living in their house. It’s peculiar that people own another human being.
In the case of dogs, this rescue I got her from was like, “We found these puppies in Tijuana.” When you think about it, it is very weird that you go out into nature, snatch an animal and you’re like, “I’m making its life better.”
The history of dogs is interesting. Humans’ relationships with dogs are truly unique. They are fundamentally human’s best friends. They have evolved from wolves. This is a long-time relationship. This was thousands of years old that have developed and changed. As humans tend to do, especially people who have lots of resources, they take these things to bizarre, crazy places. What once was a wolf that helped you in a utilitarian way sits in your pocketbook as an accessory.
That makes me cringe when somebody has a dog as an accessory. It is fascinating to me also to think of the history of dogs because I found out my dog is part Chow Chow. They were bred to be very loyal to one person specifically and I feel like she’s very attached to me in that way or maybe she is because that’s her personality.
Who is the boss in your household, you or your pet?
Me. I make sure of that and it’s not in a mean way. It’s all positive reinforcement.
If you’re dating, does your pet help or hurt your dating life? Help, hurts, helps and hurts or no effect.
I would add another category. My dog is my priority. I don’t look to her to help my dating life but I wouldn’t say she could hurt it because she wins in her versus any guy situation.
Would you say your dog does not affect your dating?
Yes, but it’s because of my insistence that it is not affected.
If you had to choose between your partner or your pet, who would it be?
Pet. There’s no contest. If I started dating someone and they were like, “Dogs aren’t my thing,” it’d be like, “You’re not my thing then. Toodaloo.” I love my dog and she’s not going anywhere, so it’s her over someone else.
What products or services do you wish were offered to help you with your pet ownership?
There’s a lot I didn’t know going into having a dog because I had dogs when I was a kid. We always had Labs and they always ran free on our property. To say we took care of them would be generous. There are a lot of things I didn’t know. For example, German Shepherds are largely allergic to poultry and beef. I was feeding her both of those things because I was switching out her food so she wouldn’t get bored of it. I noticed she was missing little patches of her hair.
I talked to a friend about it and they were like, “You got to switch her to all fish-based food.” I didn’t know that. There are also a couple of other medical things that I didn’t know. Vets largely take it for granted and think, “You have a dog. You have all the information.” I’ve had to tell them multiple times like, “I don’t know anything about raising a dog, so any information you have that is helpful.”
It’s like an owner’s manual. It’s amazing how many things you have to study and get certified to do in having a baby and owning an animal.
Both should come with at the very least a pamphlet.
Also, maybe some online tests, so if you don’t pass it, you can’t have it.
We get into tricky territory because everybody should be taking online tests to see if they should be in public, if they should sit in an emergency row and all kinds of things. You can strive to be on that list but you don’t automatically get put on it.
Once you’re sitting in the exit row, it’s too late.
I trust almost no one. When the attendant comes around like, “In the event of an emergency, do you promise to help out?” I look over and it’s an 80-pound person who looks like they can’t fend for themselves in any way, I’m like, “Do you think they’re going to open this trap door? I will.” The likelihood of surviving and then needing the doors is slim.
Are there any other products or services that come to mind?
I wish there was a way for brands to be more transparent about whether they were healthy or good for your dog or not. I didn’t know, for example, that rawhide is bad. It’s not meat, so their body doesn’t break it down. If you give your dog rawhide treats regularly, it can stop up in their stomach and they may need surgery to get it.
Rawhide treats are the swallowing gum of pet life.
I agree but worse. Your pet may end up needing surgery to get it removed because it takes them so long to digest them and break them down that they can compact in their stomach.
Is there anything else you want to tell us about your experience with your pet, its importance in your life and your approach to caring for them?
It’s lovely having a pet. It’s nice and fulfilling. They give you non-stop love. You can make time for a dog. This is a little bit of a digression but there are a lot of people that got pets over quarantine only to return them later. It makes me furious. I want them all to walk into traffic. That’s horrifying. I wish people also were gentler with their pets because they can’t speak English and are helpless. Once they’re domesticated in your home, they’re completely helpless and dependent on you. Be nice to them and love them back.
Am I missing any types of questions or topics?
I don’t know. I would like to know how to travel with my pet. I’ve driven across the country with her a couple of times and she’s lovely in the car but I have gotten no tips on how to fly with my dog. I’ve asked people, “What’s the best airline to fly with your dog on?” The answer I get is, “Never put your dog in with the cargo.” I’m like, “What? I would never have.”
I heard that the FAA no longer allows dogs on planes unless they can fit under the front seat. We need to double-check that. It’s as of April 2021, I think.
Why is that?
If you take a non-dog owners’ perspective, it makes a lot of sense. People are afraid and allergic to pets. The planes are packed. The counter-argument that a pet owner might have is, “If I’m willing to buy my pet a seat, why can’t I bring my pet?”
I did go through the trouble of getting her a service animal vest and I am vest training her, which is a very slow process. I’m at the very beginning of it. Vest training means she knows like, “When I have this vest on, I’m working.”
I want to point out another topic that I’m doing for Single Insights that’s relevant here. It’s about solos, holidays and how disproportionately single people have to do the travel. It falls on your shoulders as the single person to make the trip, fight the traffic, fight the airports and pay top dollar for flights. That seems a little unfair to me at times.
There are a lot of things that are put on single people. I choose which of them I participate in and don’t but I try to be considerate of other people who may not want my dog in their space. That same principle is not applied to people with children. It’s understood that their child will be everywhere misbehaving all the time, which is frustrating. Holidays, any celebrations or weddings, they all can be annoying.
We’re here to change the way people think about these things. I’m starting to get more focus on communicating with the allies, non-single family and friends. How might you think differently about your single-family and friends in terms of the assumptions you make about their life, the questions you ask them, what you ask them to do, what you ask them to not do or what you don’t ask them to do, where you meet them from and so on. I have a solo show on Fireside that I do in which I brought together a panel to talk through some of that stuff. This is for the people that are reading.
I’ll add to the holidays’ thing where I find that single people are also tasked with errands. They’re like, “My husband and I are here spending time together so you take this person to the airport and babysit the kids” By choosing to be single, I didn’t opt into a life of being your assistant. I’m already in the most uncomfortable place. I’m living in a communal area where I’m being interrupted by your life constantly. People think of being single the same as being a child.
It’s lower status. It’s like, “This relationship is more important, so why would I not spend time with my partner to run this errand? Let’s give the job to someone who doesn’t have anything better to do.”
I’m like, “The whole reason I’m single is that I have more things better to do.” That’s the whole idea.
You’re not fully a type two. You’re not fully a Just May. I want to bring this full circle.
Am I more of a three?
I’m not sure. It’s easier for you to be a No Way with your pet than not.
I want some companionship. This isn’t a huge indictment on some of the men I’ve dated but I am as entertained talking to my dog and hanging out with her as I am with a man sometimes.
Ladies and gentlemen, Lisa Curry.
Thank you so much for having me on.
This was very fun.
Important Links
- Alive for a While
- Single Insights: The Science of Solos
- Lisa Curry
- Zoom Room
- Fireside – Peter McGraw
- https://www.Instagram.com/olympianlisacurry/?hl=en
- https://www.IMDb.com/name/nm4701562/
- https://petermcgraw.org/solo/a-single-insight/
About Lisa Curry
Lisa Curry an internationally touring comedian and TV writer. She has written for TruTV, NBC, and Comedy Central, where she was a staff writer on the Jim Jefferies show. Lisa headlines clubs and opens for Jefferies in theaters between staff writing jobs. Her debut comedy album, ‘Alive For a While’ is in consideration for a Grammy nomination.