Solo FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Solo is an evolving project designed for people living single – and living well.

If you want to get more involved, please see Solo Community Page and the Solo Podcast Page. Subscribe to the podcast, review it, join the Solo community, contribute to the message board, and tell your single friends and family members.

Send more questions my way. This is a work in progress.

Solo is for anyone—single or not—who believes that living solo living is as good as partnered living.

There are great opportunities and benefits that come from being unapologetically unattached. You use the time, money, resources, energy that would be dedicated to family to instead pursue an unconventional life—one that is filled with a broad array of relationships, a chance to build things, engage in creative endeavors, or simply sleeping in more when you want to.

Solo got its start as a podcast, but Solo is a movement—one that seeks eliminate the stigma of being single. There is more to come. In the meantime, please get involved.

Solo is pro-single but not anti-marriage.

Whether solo living is right for you depends on your personality, values, goals, and the stage in life that you happen to be in. In the end, it is up to you to decide what is right for you.

It is not okay for the world to decide for you.

Solo is not focused on dating and sex—though we cover those topics.  

While Solo is not designed to help people couple up, it has an ironic benefit. By living a remarkable life, you make yourself a better potential partner. That is, when you living your best life (and are unapologetic about it), people find you appealing.

The full story is episode one of the podcast.

In short, Solo is the guide that I wish I had when I began to realize that living a conventional life and having a conventional relationship (i.e., riding the relationship escalator) wasn’t right for me.

The best place to start is Bella DePaulo’s work:

Bella is a behavioral scientist who was very early to examining the stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination that single people experience in the world. Think of her as the godmother of the movement.

Thought it meanders a bit, Episode #1 sets out the goals of the podcast and episode #2, Science of Single Living, is really outstanding,

Some other episodes that I like quite a lot (and why):

Frankly, I like them all. Choose depending on your tastes.

There are entire books written about this topic, but one thing to note is that research suggesting that being married is better than being single does not hold up well to scientific scrutiny.  

One major problem is that the research ignores people who get divorced. Researchers throws out data from more than a third of the sample (i.e., people who get divorced) and then conclude that married is better than not. Given how devastating divorce is—financially, emotionally, and  psychologically—to ignore that sizable group, falsely bolsters the benefits of marriage.

Moreover, previous research fails to differentiate people who want to be partnered (and aren’t) from people who are single by choice. That is an important psychological difference.

Lastly, there are many ways to measure a good life. Single people, as I say above, have great opportunities to live unconventionally. Singles do a lot for the world; they are more involved in their community, they donate more time and money, they contribute to science, art, and literature—and so on. Listen to the podcast to hear more.